Balancing Our Inner Machiavelli and Marcus Aurelius Makes Us More Complete

Fitting ideals and reality into the same space.

Left: Marcus Aurelius — Photo by Pierre-Selim Via Wikimedia Commons / Right: Niccolò Machiavelli — Cristofano di Papi dell’Altissimo Via Wikimedia Commons

Next time you get a free minute, I want you to try something. Stare at the floor. But not any floor will do, you need a wood or tile floor.

Notice most of the flooring or tile is either in neat squares or rectangles.

The uniformity is beautiful in its own way. Now, follow that uniform pattern towards a wall or corner and you soon notice the pattern breaks. The clever carpenter or tiler cut uniform pieces in a way to fit these corners or edges.

Life often copies this design. Particularly in what one should do, and one finds themselves doing. This is why I love philosophy. It’s like that beautiful uniform tile that catches and pleases the eye. Imagine if every tile were a different size, your floor would be chaos and you’d be pissed at the installer.

Likewise, a philosophy or ethos to drive you sets the floor properly and avoids that chaos. Well, for the most part. Those corners and edges are always guaranteed to come along, and the uniform tile doesn’t fit. This is where problems start.

It also leads us to two philosophers, the Stoic Marcus Aurelius and the pragmatic Niccolò Machiavelli. Two very different people. In fact, their lessons and thoughts may even appear polarizing to each other.

But then again, both the uniform and cut tile are necessary to finish the floor and make it beautiful. Let’s keep this in mind as we move on.

An Emperor’s World Of Goodness And Virtue

Marcus Aurelius was chosen to be emperor of a Roman Empire that cherished strength, ambition, and many times cruelty. But his philosophy stressed the opposite. Stoicism teaches its practitioners they are one with the universe and all humanity is a family.

We get a front-seat view in his mind through the thoughts he jotted down in his personal journal now known as Meditations. Marcus reminds himself:

“We are born for cooperation, as are the feet, the hands, the eyelids, and the upper and lower jaws.”

He also notes philosophy should be beyond just thought and must also manifest itself in the real world. Marcus tells himself to “stop talking about what the good man is like, and just be one.”

But Stoicism is more than just a method of oneness, it’s also a self-defense tool against the stressors in life. In fact, the name Enchiridion — a series of lecture notes from one of the greatest stoic teachers Epictetus —can be translated as “hand dagger,” or something kept at your side for protection.

Stoicism is designed to bring about “ataraxia,” or a freedom from stress. In a practical sense, it works. It was a crutch as the majority of Marcus’ 14 children died in childhood. Stoicism also guided him as a friend attempted to take the empire from him in a revolution.

Marcus soothed his anger, and forgave this rival in a public speech. He even offered leniency to the rebel and those supporting him, which must have been stunning in ancient Rome.

This was Marcus Aurelius’ world of goodness and virtue. The tiles he laid out covered the majority of the floor — but still — it left some corners bare.

Machiavelli And The Uneven Corners

I learned about tight corners firsthand in a martial arts class. Our instructor cheerfully taught us the art of a sucker punch and what you should do when you need to hit someone first.

Initially, this shocked me. Isn’t self-defense supposed to be “self-defense?” But waiting to be a victim isn’t a method of defense in itself. Not all are virtuous. Some actually look for human prey like a lion stalking a herd.

Niccolò Machiavelli would have high-fived my instructor. This philosopher was an expert tiler. The tightest and unforgiving corners didn’t scare him away.

In his timeless work The Prince, he acknowledges many want to do good, but there can be consequences. He states:

“There’s a big difference between how one actually lives and how one should ideally live…He who wants always to do good often wrecks himself among those who are not good.”

While Marcus aimed for cooperation with all mankind and a sense of brotherly love, Niccolò points out love can be lacking. Often fear works better.

“Men care less about offending one whom they love than one whom they fear. Love creates a bond that sadly obligates men only as long as it serves their own purpose, but fear…never lets you down.”

If this sounds familiar, you might have also heard this in a classic movie called A Bronx Tale spoken eloquently by Chazz Palminteri.

So, what does this mean for us? We’re not Renaissance era politicians or 1960s gangsters, but it can help us with our personal corners.

First and foremost, don’t be a doormat.

It’s wonderful to be loved, but no one should be wiping their feet all over you. One must be formidable. This stretches to friendship, business, and romance.

All should respect others and cooperate, but there has to be the slightest bit of fear within another if they choose not to. For instance, you might replace them with another romantic or business partner. They might even be punished with the loss of a good friendship.

Even Marcus demonstrated this tendency. He may have forgiven his rival and many of the conspirators, but also raised an army to face the coming threat.

However, both Machiavelli and Palminteri remind us there’s a fine line here. While fear can be good, you don’t want to be hated. This leads to a path of ruin.

The Balance Of Aurelius and Machiavelli

The real world is often unbalanced. Neat and perfect squares can’t cover it in a one-way-fits-all form. However, virtue and goodness can do a lot. As Marcus shows us, it can be our hand dagger, defending us against the stressors of life.

It can also be a shining light, leading us closer to others in an extended human family.

However, even the closest family can stab each other in the back. It usually takes place in one of those odd corners. That uneven place can be comprised of money, love, jealousy, or the countless other human emotions that overcome logic.

Niccolò functions better in this darkness. He reminds us it’s impossible to always be good and sometimes you need to do what’s necessary instead. This involves using fear instead of love.

Obviously, this doesn’t mean you turn into Genghis Kahn or “Sonny” from A Bronx Tale. You just need to be formidable.

While the two philosophers may appear polarizing, their thoughts help cover the two sides of a well-functioning coin. In other words, to be complete we must balance our inner Machiavelli and Aurelius.

-Originally Posted On Medium 1/3/22