This Martial Arts Philosophy Builds Self-Confidence And Helps Others At The Same Time
How anyone can create a virtuous self-sustaining circle
A lack of confidence is like being lost without a GPS device.
One wrong turn tends to lead to another. Not only this but in your all-consuming effort to figure out where you’re going, you also can’t visualize the wonderful things in the background.
The amazing sunset, bakery you never knew existed, or incredible architecture on the houses you pass go unnoticed. So, you’re missing a ton as you try to course correct. Well, at least I always was.
As a kid, it seemed like my GPS was continually broken, and my lack of confidence caused me to avoid things. But this changed dramatically as I got older.
Like most people, though, I was busy with life and never really stopped to notice the change. However, in the second stage of my life, I’ve done the following things:
Took up a martial art, taught it, and achieved a high belt ranking.
Started exercising vigorously and even created my own exercise equipment out of parts scavenged from hardware stores.
Began writing and publishing publicly online for friends and strangers to read.
Gave many speeches in front of large audiences.
Took on every hat at my family’s business: fixing mechanical equipment, designing new products, creating literature and spreadsheets, selling equipment, handling inventory, and even running our fork truck on occasion.
The younger me with the broken GPS would have never thought this possible, and it wasn’t until recently that the old me started putting together how I did it. Martial arts and writing put it into perspective.
In my opinion, you create confidence through a virtuous, self-sustaining circle. Belief in yourself is also more effectively generated by helping others.
I’m sure you have no idea what I’m talking about, and honestly, I didn’t understand it either until a few years ago. Perhaps the best way to explain it is to take you back in time. Don’t worry, we’re not going too far. Just about twenty years ago, when I first began martial arts.
There Is No Beginner’s Class
My first class was spent doing something way beyond my capabilities and falling on my face. It was totally ego-shattering. And it only got worse when I noticed most people in the class could do the exercise. No one else was falling.
As the next couple of weeks passed, it became evident there was no beginner’s class. Our instructor, Alan, just lumped us all together. Sometimes your partner could be an aggressive blackbelt or a noob like me.
Moreover, the room could be learning the basics, while at other times, the class was complex beyond belief. It seemed very random. But one thing never was, and Alan didn’t only want us to learn but teach.
He’d even pull us up in front of the room to teach techniques we were just learning.
As I gained my first few minor belts, he also told me once I reached green belt (the midway point), I’d be “a teacher whether I wanted to be or not.” At those words, my lack of confidence kicked in. I remember laughing. It was totally ridiculous I’d have the capability or anyone would listen to me.
His desire to have everyone teach was bizarre, but after a few years, it started to make sense.
Plus, Minus, Equal
Teaching shatters your illusions. You may think you understand something and know how to do it, but then the universe tells you otherwise when you try and teach it. So, if you can’t communicate knowledge effectively, you don’t know it.
Famously, Nobel Prize-winning physicist Richard Feynman noted that being able to teach something simply enough that a child could understand it was the cornerstone for knowing a subject.
As the green belt came and went, I learned this firsthand. But something else dawned on me, too. As I read Ryan Holiday’s book Ego Is the Enemy, he described a concept called “plus, minus, equal.” It immediately reminded me of our classes.
Holiday says he originally heard the concept described by MMA legend Frank Shamrock as his method for teaching martial arts. The basic idea is this:
One should have a plus or mentor to teach them.
You should also find an equal to struggle against to make you better.
Finally, find a minus or student you can teach.
But that’s only the façade or surface. The true genius of the concept is that you should be consistently taking on all three hats: plus, minus, and equal.
Since my first few months in martial arts, I have been doing this, and it became an instinctual habit after a few years. I taught those newer than me, struggled with my peers, and sought out help from upper belts — not just my instructor.
However, there was one other ultimate benefit of this system: growing confidence. And it wasn’t something limited to martial arts.
Teaching, Forever Students, And The Blackbelt Story
The famed General Electric CEO Jack Welch noticed a problem as he led the company in the 1990s. The upper management was behind the curve in technology. So he instituted a reverse mentorship program.
In other words, Welch matched junior-level employees with executive bigwigs and had the younger team members teach their elders how to use computers and the Internet. The program itself became legendary. But there’s one other aspect that flies under the radar — confidence growth.
You’d have to imagine the younger team members became more confident when they could take the “plus” role in dealing with a superior. Moreover, it also got the senior management to interact with younger minds. This created a culture of endless learning as well.
It also reminded me of the origin of colored belts in martial arts. Alan once told us originally, everyone wore white belts when training, but over time, sweat began to discolor them. So, the people with the most training had “black belts.”
However, as their work continued, the belts faded, becoming white again. In other words, their learning never ended.
As I started writing — and consequently thinking about all these events in my life and learning concepts — the reason for my confidence growth became apparent. Furthermore, it can be applied to anyone with a broken internal GPS. All that’s needed is a circle.
Creating A Virtuous Self-Sustaining Circle
The reason I personally lacked confidence was due to an absence of skills and belief in myself. But as I learned, this faded. Moreover, when people saw me as fit enough to teach them, my belief in myself skyrocketed.
Although this is only one piece of the puzzle. The important part is actively taking on every role of the plus, minus, equal concept.
Many with a broken GPS think they have nothing to share with the world, but that’s total garbage. As Jack Welch demonstrated, the most junior members of his team had incredible individual value that could be shared.
Those with zero confidence may think themselves useless without any skills. Still, there’s always something they know and can teach to others, even if it involves showing your grandma how to navigate Netflix or surf the net. All people can be a plus, and this confidence is transferrable.
Furthermore, a blackbelt isn’t the final destination either. The high-level plus should be seeking to switch roles to become a minus so they can learn more. By doing this, they give their new plus confidence and find another peer group of equals to work with.
The whole system creates a virtuous, self-sustaining circle. It’s virtuous because everyone on every level gets something out of it.
Minuses learn skills which build confidence.
Pluses get to teach and build confidence by having others look up to them.
Equals find comradery and gain belief in themselves by working with others on their level.
It’s self-sustaining because a minus in any subject can grow into an equal and finally change to a plus. Call it a circle because you can repeat the process from a never-ending list of skills or subjects.
Therefore, no matter how broken your GPS is, you can build confidence in yourself and help others at the same time. Just take your place in the circle.
-Originally posted on Medium 12/22/23