As I Pass The Addicts, Nietzsche And His Words Of Hope Enter My Mind
Finding a way out of our destructive loops with eternal recurrence of the same
As I’m walking down the street, the images don’t even phase me anymore. After a quick glance to my left — to a park we played in as kids — a man is slumped over the bars of a metal fence which acts as a barrier between the grass and sidewalk. He’s tangled between the bars precariously, and somehow, they manage to prop him up. His eyes are closed, and he looks dead, but he still breathes.
Well, for the moment. If his lungs do stop, a quick shot of Narcan will bring him back to the world of the living. However, he won’t be happy to come back. The man entangled is an addict and this is what the effects of heroin look like.
Narcan is a magic nasal spray, which instantly wakes a heroin addict up from their trance, often saving their lives. But it ends the high, so their savior isn’t praised. It’s not unusual for the restored soul to attack the person reviving them once consciousness comes back.
I move through a sort of live-action zombie movie every day. The addicts are ever-present — “dipping” as we call it. But the uninitiated may think they’re sleeping on their feet.
This isn’t a one-day show for me: it’s endless. The same people return, buy drugs, dip out on the street, and repeat the process. It’s like that movie Ground Hog Day, but this version isn’t a comedy with Bill Murray.
The buyers get money any way they can. The prostitutes endlessly parade up and down the street and look like the shells of a former human being. Others are thieves. Their endless loop is walking down the avenue with a plastic bag, trying to sell whatever they could steal from a store or truck. The only change to the pattern is what’s in the bag. Toothbrushes today, aspirin tomorrow, maybe a hammer next week.
Strange as it sounds, while this loop repeats and I glance at the man dipping out in the fence, the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche continuously enters my mind.
He referred to an idea of “eternal recurrence of the same” and right now that thought is drowning out the street noise and coloring the pale face of the man impaled between the bars of the railing.
Eternal Recurrence Loop
According to the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Nietzsche self-identified eternal recurrence as one of his greatest thoughts. Although, he was very vague about what it exactly meant. Many assumed it meant everything eventually repeated in a cyclical way.
Just as the addicts I see dipping out in the street return every day, most things will repeat in their own way. If this is the case, it’s not a truly unique thought. Many religions believe this.
For instance, Christianity has their concept of purgatory, where a soul continuously waits while it’s put into the correct shape to continue to heaven. Hindus believe in repeated reincarnation, or samsara, until one can moksha or liberate themselves from the cycle.
Keeping our current topic in mind, it’s not far from the addiction I see daily. The dippers, thieves, and prostitutes are doomed to continue their eternal recurrence of the same, until they can achieve moksha.
This brings us back to Nietzsche. While the philosopher’s explanation of this “important thought” may be vague, his idea of what to do with it was much clearer.
Loving One’s Fate
In reviewing the idea of eternal recurrence, Nietzsche asks an interesting question in his book The Gay Science. How would you feel if you had to repeat this life — each pain, joy, and moment of boredom — on an endless loop? Would you consider it a punishment or reward?
In answering this question, the philosopher came up with his “formula for greatness” in Ecce Homo. He’d say one of the most powerful things a human could do is to not only accept their fate but love it. Consider the repeated life a reward.
The faces I see on the street obviously don’t love their fate. Their eyes stare out into nothing. They also don’t bother to hide the needles they inject in themselves. There isn’t even shame anymore.
I’d imagine many think themselves lost or hopeless at this point. It’s why they’ll sell anything, including themselves for a high — just to feel good for a short period of time.
After you watch someone stick a needle into their own neck because the veins in their arms are gone, it deadens you a bit. One could only imagine what it does to the person doing it. But Nietzsche’s idea offers some hope.
If we’re to love our fate, and we should strive to want to repeat our lives — the good and bad. Then, we’re not lost or hopeless. There’s some value within us to make life worth repeating. This even holds true for the guy passed out on the fence.
Imagine if that man balanced between the bars could reclaim his life. What kind of power would he have? The things regular people claim as “hardships” would be nothing to him. Our average pain and trouble would be laughable in his eyes after wandering through the purgatory he experienced.
What kinds of mountains could he climb?
What kind of feats could he accomplish if he could only break that loop and achieve moksha?
Perhaps The Pain Isn’t A Punishment
Ultra-marathon runner and former Navy SEAL David Goggins in his book You Can’t Hurt Me describes an idea he calls “callusing the mind”. He explains the pains and hardships you experience toughen you mentally.
Like hands develop calluses to protect the skin, you can build the same armor in your brain and soul. In other words, he’s saying something similar to Nietzsche. Love your fate because the bad can be as beneficial as the good. Even if you were to repeat your life exactly, see it as a reward.
It’s something I think about now as I walk down the street. I used to think the addicts, thieves, and dippers were a type of punishment tossed on me by the cruel hand of fate. Now, I continuously find myself thinking of Nietzsche.
The dippers are here to callus my mind. They’re a reminder to me to liberate myself from my many destructive cycles. The needles, addiction, and endless terrible visions remind me to love my fate.
All these things I see and experience make ordinary hardships laughable and make small hills out of troubles most see as mountains.
This is why I can’t get Nietzsche out of my mind as I see what I see.
-Originally published on Medium 9/24/21